Sword and Sextant

No, no. This is not me bitching about how Memphis, Kansas, Kentucky, and UCLA are successfully cheating their way to Final Fours and titles, but it could have been, I guess. For someone that watches as many sports as I do, this is the first sports ref I’ve made. I’d like to thank the audience, first.

Anywho, here’s a blog that is finally noticing that Joe Biden is VP because he agreed to shut up and eat ice cream while the President-Guy does all the fancy lawstuff. For all the Darth Vader references made about my boy Cheney, at least people agreed that he had a job and that he did it. I bet he killed at least 1000 men while in office with his demeanor alone. Like a swine flu of badassery (I feel like I can use that without reservation because its eventually gonna kill all of us or something. How anticlimactic is that, by the way? The fucking flu? How about asteroid or alien invasion or tons of volcanoes. What about a robot overthrow? Time traveling babes with bodies so hot they kill off human procreation in the most orgasmic extinction in history? Put me down as voting for the last one.)

Anyhow, these apparently gay dudes/ladies who love HillDog are a bit disappointed in the President Pro-Tempore of the Senate. So far he’s nailed the ice cream part of his advocacy agenda. I won’t make any references to how he’s pounding it like the superbabes are coming through the time vortex in 30 min. Fuck, I guess I’ll have to settle for one.

Face it, he’s got a job where he not only does nothing, but he gets paid for it. Frankly, Biden keeping his mouth shut clearly does require effort on his part, and he deserves pay for it. From Obama’s standpoint, he’s the only man capable of worse gaffes than himself, so keeping him silent is really worthwhile for him, too. As long as his mouth is at least as blocked up as John Candy’s arteries, he’s harmless. Talk about dumbing the VP down to the lowest form of public service. He should think about unionizing just to feel more at home doing the nothing he’s being paid to accomplish day in, day out.

I want President Obama to hold trials of the Bush people over torture. I really do. I want him to pursue “justice” for those lawyers who advised what is now considered torture as defined by the New Left in America.

Number One, it will be another spectacle fashioned from a broken promise given by Barry himself. After promising profusely to look forward and not back, this could only be seen as a departure from that line of action.

Number Two, when its revealed that nearly every member of Congress currently grousing over this memo-deal was complicit in allowing and abetting these practices, I will enjoy the show as the focus of these witchtrials lurches upon them. Miss Pelosi, what do you mean you said “okay” to this hundreds of times?

Number Three, its another way to stir up the increasingly focused resistance. The other day the resurrection occurred with the Tea Parties, and now a fresh batch of outrage can only harden the resolve of the newly minted conservative coalition.

Number Four, it will dually distract Obama from his agenda of mass social destruction. The Fearministration will be paralyzed by answering constant questions on the investigations, and Congress’ valuable 8 hours/week of total work time will be taken by reverse McCarthyism, as the defenders of freedom answer to the revisionist fools.

Number Five, it will write out an easy talking point for our next Presidential Race. “Excuse me, Mr. President, while you were trying to throw heroes in jail, I was working on this tax policy…” The possibilities are endless here, and fruitful.

So get in there, Barry! Your destiny awaits, and Eric Holder is ready to rock. Whatever he lacks in defending our own citizens from pirates, he’s got putting past grudges on the main stage in spades! Let’s see some Lefty justice.