Sword and Sextant

No, no. This is not me bitching about how Memphis, Kansas, Kentucky, and UCLA are successfully cheating their way to Final Fours and titles, but it could have been, I guess. For someone that watches as many sports as I do, this is the first sports ref I’ve made. I’d like to thank the audience, first.

Anywho, here’s a blog that is finally noticing that Joe Biden is VP because he agreed to shut up and eat ice cream while the President-Guy does all the fancy lawstuff. For all the Darth Vader references made about my boy Cheney, at least people agreed that he had a job and that he did it. I bet he killed at least 1000 men while in office with his demeanor alone. Like a swine flu of badassery (I feel like I can use that without reservation because its eventually gonna kill all of us or something. How anticlimactic is that, by the way? The fucking flu? How about asteroid or alien invasion or tons of volcanoes. What about a robot overthrow? Time traveling babes with bodies so hot they kill off human procreation in the most orgasmic extinction in history? Put me down as voting for the last one.)

Anyhow, these apparently gay dudes/ladies who love HillDog are a bit disappointed in the President Pro-Tempore of the Senate. So far he’s nailed the ice cream part of his advocacy agenda. I won’t make any references to how he’s pounding it like the superbabes are coming through the time vortex in 30 min. Fuck, I guess I’ll have to settle for one.

Face it, he’s got a job where he not only does nothing, but he gets paid for it. Frankly, Biden keeping his mouth shut clearly does require effort on his part, and he deserves pay for it. From Obama’s standpoint, he’s the only man capable of worse gaffes than himself, so keeping him silent is really worthwhile for him, too. As long as his mouth is at least as blocked up as John Candy’s arteries, he’s harmless. Talk about dumbing the VP down to the lowest form of public service. He should think about unionizing just to feel more at home doing the nothing he’s being paid to accomplish day in, day out.